Track 22: A Whisper Shot Through My Brain

I've been going through the catalog and separating the chaff from the wheat, trying to decide what to include and what to leave off. In Track 2 of this Blog, I included 3 songs from a CD collection recorded in August and September of 2009 (Magic Things, Wonderful, Rock N' Roll Chick) that had previously been downloaded to ReverbNation. These are the remaining numbers, most are filler, or novelties, with a few standouts, and nothing I'm embarrassed to share.

Original title "When the Clock Strikes 13", with 13 tracks.

Gone to Gray

Written in May 2009

I did a quick run through this, then forgot about it. I later rediscovered it, and added a second verse and a (kind of) chorus. Catchy filler, another "dream life" song. It was short, so I just ran through it again, with drums. The title might have been a nod to XTCs "Wrapped in Grey" (a song I dig from a band I greatly admire).

Lyrics 

When I tell you quite sincerely, it's not a truth that I've devised 

You can tell that I'm not playin', by the look in my eyes

And I've sat here for hours, scripting love scenes in my mind

Where I reveal my deepest hope, and you respond in kind

Now I'm going under, my dreams torn asunder
My ears deaf with thunder, and I...
I'm forced awake
I'm forced wide awake
To see everything gone to gray

Gone, Gone, Gone

Written on August 21, 2009

When I first wrote this, I wasn't happy with it and was just going to toss it. But a few days later I went back and worked on it again. The words seem like one of my depression songs, but they are actually about losing my sense of self. Sometimes I feel like a ghost drifting among the living. I re-used Chesterton from "The Man Who Was Thursday" (I've only seen the back of the world) The recording went well,

Lyrics

It's like I'm caught in a trap, it's like I'm stuck in a loop

It's like every time I try to set myself free, there's someone out there laughing at me

It's like I had no chance, it was set in stone from my first breath

I'm not sure it's worth mentioning, but it feels like every bit of me is vanishing

And I'll be gone, gone, gone before I end this song

Witness with your unbelieving eyes, I'll be invisible before too long (2X)

It's like a dream I once had, where hope and love smile grand and golden

I realized I'd only seen the back of the world, and never got around the front

Oh where can I be?

Chorus

This imitation of life, I'm an expert at pretending

Wish I could be straight and true, not so twisty, crooked, or bending

Chorus

Rocket

Written in July 2002

In the film "Once" there's a scene where guy answers questions from girl through song, it's something many of us do, we carry our guitars with us, answer while we play, and make up songs about the things around us. This time, my cat Rocket was jumping and running and making me laugh, and I started singing this tune. Most songs like this are quickly forgotten, but this one I wrote down.

Really enjoyed the bass line, there's a repeated "We Got the Beat" vibe to it. Several songs on the collection featured the instrument nicely. Both Magic Things and Wonderful (posted on another page) had bass centered introductions, Pepper was another where it was a highlight.

Lyrics

He digs the world because he got it on a string

Like it ain't nothing to sweat about

He don't care if I've fallen from grace

Or how depressed I get, about my place

Rocket, he just enjoys the ride

Rocket, he's my laughter fuel, he's pretty cool... cat    

He plays cause it's fun and he's always on the run

But when he sleeps, he sleeps like he's lying on clouds

And when I'm feeling down, oh he plays the clown

Or curls up on my lap to keep me safe and sound

Chorus

Stanley Tweedle's Lament

Written in November 2000

More filler - this was about being on the road. I can't remember what the "2 by 2" line meant, something about 2 sets by 2 am, or maybe gigs and days played. I liked the guitar riff, it's steady and cool, and the lyrics are obscure and curious. To get that effect on the word "why", I just rapidly twisted the pan knob by hand.

Stanley Tweedle was the name of a wormy character on the sci-fi series, "Lexx" and was a name I used. I wasn't young and cutting edge anymore, so when I'd go out and try and land a gig in Nashville I'd present myself as the band's manager, Stanley Tweedle, not as its lead singer.

Lyrics

Round and round and up and down, I hit the streets at the speed of sound

2 by 2 and 4 by 6, I hit the sheet, replay the licks

And I, I never know why - I, I never know why

Every time I see it clear I close my eye to make it disappear

I was found but now I'm lost, I played it fair and paid the cost

And I, I never know why - I, I never know why

And when you turned away I turned off all the sound

There was nowhere to go so I went underground

Oh please can't you see, what the game means to me

And I, I never know why - I, I never know why

I offer it up and you take it and run, it burns the eyes but its so much fun

It's Novocain that movies this town, it's all the rage the world around

Shawn D · It's As Simple as This (with cello)

It's as Simple as This

Written on September 3, 2009

The CD was finished, and after a long night's work I wanted to hit the sack... instead, I watched a bit of this sad love story on TV, and that got me to thinking about lyrics, so instead of sleep, I picked up the guitar and had a song. There were no rhymes, nothing clever or poetic in it, just the unvarnished truth of it all. I don't know why I shifted from "this" to "that" at the end, but it was a mistake. 

Over a decade later I commissioned a cellist to add strings to the piece. The gifted Natalie V (Spehar) recorded 3 layers of cello, and having never worked with strings I was quite out to sea. I spent hour after hour on the mix, different combinations, different levels... after 3 days of it my brain turned to mush and I had to just sit down, bounce the tracks, stop fiddling with the faders and just live with it for a while. What you hear above is take 18. (Which doesn't include the countless tries that were aborted halfway through).

I wouldn't call this one of my A-list numbers and with the simple C, Am, F chords it didn't allow for a lot of elaborate playing. But it did have a lot of space in it, with few other instruments fighting for attention. I thought she did beautiful work, and it allows me to check that off my bucket list. (I am thinking of adding percussion of some type, but that's for another day)

Lyrics

It's as simple as this, this is all I know

It's as easy as this, because this is all I know

I've never loved anything, never loved anyone

Like you

It's as simple as this, I love you (2x)

Poets have warred with uncooperative words

Heartsick schoolboys with crumpled paper

Frustrated by slippery sentiment

Nothing they say, says enough

It's as simple as this, I love you (2x) it's as simple as this

I love you till the very end

Why complicated it

With flowery prose

It's as simple as this (3x)

It's as simple as this, this is all I know

No matter the years that separate us

no matter the distance

I love you, it's as simple as that (3x)

A Dream Deferred

Written on August 30, 2009

Rock and roll is very proprietary, rock artists sue at the drop of a hat. But roots music, folk and the like come from a different, long-standing tradition of passing down tunes from generation to generation, adapting and reworking them. "Man of Constant Sorrows" has been adapted hundreds of times. "Scarborough Fair" by Simon & Garfunkel is a traditional English ballad redone, their version echoes the one which was sung by retired miner Mark Anderson to Ewan MacColl in 1947 and later released by Audrey Coppard in 1956, and that's what I used as this tunes model. I constructed completely different lyrics and altered the melody and some chords, but musically it's built on Scarborough Fair.

Lyrically I'm drawing inspiration from the poet Dylan Thomas, I put a lot of thought into the color and weight of the words in an attempt to illustrate my song the way he did his poems. Instead of saying "she's moved on and I'm stuck thinking about the past", I constructed the line, "Temptation has left and all that remains, occupies a whisper that's shot through my brain" - it gives more depth, more poetry to the words.

Lyrics
She trades magnificence for an armful of ash
To bathe in the warmth of temporary godhood
She becomes a stranger to herself...
And struggles to make herself understood

She's a dream deferred

 
Holy mother my sins I confess
I pressed lies to my lips like a sweet lover's kiss
I became a stranger to myself...
To hear heralds, trumpet her excess

She's a dream deferred

Temptation has left and all that remains
Occupies a whisper that's shot through my brain
I remember her eyes were golden coins
And for a moment, her madness made me sane

She's a dream deferred

What Makes it Better

Written on August 30, 2009

Yikes, my vocals are really pitchy, and sloppy... my impatience is my musical ruin. I was shooting for a screaming rocker but got this pop confection instead. It's catchy, and positive, which is a nice change of pace.

Lyrics

You know what makes it better, is hiding down here in my cellar

Listening to those longhaired boys, making all that wonderful noise

I couldn't be happier than I am right now

You know what makes life deep is the beautiful company I keep

No money that I've earned and spent, has ever made me as content

I couldn't be happier than I am right now

You thought I was kidding, and you laughed

When I said that this was my best Saturday

Staying up all hours with you, talking the night away

You know what makes me serene, is slipping down into a dream 

Falling into the arms of sleep, drifting further into the deep

I couldn't be happier than I am right now

Oh, Pepper

Written on August 30, 2009

I don't know why I did it, and I've never attempted it in the past, but I wrote and recorded 3 songs on this day. A novelty song based on the Iron Man comics I read as a youth in the 60s and 70s. I made it a love song to Pepper Potts, with references to Iron Man villains as bad boyfriend models: A control freak (The Controller) a cold heart (Blizzard), an empty charmer trying to impress with flashy bling (Mandarin), a BS artist with one thing on his mind (Titanium Man) and a guy who pushes to hard (Crimson Dynamo). It's pure cheese and silly to the point of embarrassment, still, I got a laugh out of it. 

The bass took forever, I wanted to run scales, rather than do a note-for-note thing, but I could never get through it in a single take, so I ended up stitching together 3 different bass tracks to create a single.

Lyrics

Oh Pepper, can I be your Iron Man, I'm not a rusted empty tin can

Inside there's a heart that beats true, there's flesh and blood that longs for you

Pepper, you know you can believe, there's no way I'd deceive

No chilly Blizzard to turn your heart to blue

Oh Pepper, though I shield myself in armor, if you could see into my eyes

You know I'd pulverize, any villain who'd dare harm you

I'm not just a smooth talker, using 10 rings to charm you

Let me take you in my arms, let me fly you 'round the planet

My circuits will never quit, and that aint no Titanium bullshit

Pepper, I'm no Crimson Dynamo, we can take this slow

Let me be your superhero, that Controller's such a zero

I'm not about making you my slave, but you're making my chest piece glow

Oh Pepper, Pepper, I love you so

Oh, Pepper, I can be your Iron Man (3x)

Marlon Brando

Written on August 30-31, 2009

I wrote the lyrics late on the 30th, and the music the next day. This was a walk-through Marlon Brando's filmography (leaving about 7 movies out as I didn't know how to weave them into the lyrics). Streetcar and Waterfront took up the first stanza, then I switched over to the single line format for the rest, which makes the word scheme lopsided, I guess. Speaking of which, I was not going to sing on the musical interlude, but I liked the guitar on the second stanza, so I left that void of lyrics and sang those lines for the interlude instead.

The melody came after finding a drumbeat I liked. Vocals? I don't consider this rap, more sing-talking, Rex Harrison style. (It reminds me of Mike Nesmith's "Ramona and Sunset Sam" song). A fun tune, but it's again another lightweight novelty. Oh, and no, McConaughey wasn't on my mind while I wrote this, The "all rights" just felt right at the time of recording.

Lyrics

I had dinner with the Kowalskis, at times I could feel the stress

Boy that man's got himself a temper, but Stella loves him nevertheless

I took a cab with Terry Malloy, his conscious gave him a fight

He could close his and take the count, but he wants to set things right

What do you say, Desiree - it's a bird it's a plane - here comes the Swede, look out now

I was looking for something to rebel against so I could ride with the Wild One

I shared a laugh with Sakini, I flew a jet with Major Gruver

I saw shades of gray in Rio, I witnessed man's black heart in Walker

I went down south with Sheriff Calder, I went north with a regulator (see you later)

I kissed the ring of the Don and danced one final tango in Paris

I saw the world through golden eyes and madness through the mind of Kurtz

I dined on Komodo dragon and left the night of the following day

Tried to talk sense to the ugly American but he couldn't hear a word I'd say

The good doctor is NOT in

I came to bury Caesar and left with these guys and dolls

Where I was psychoanalyzed with Don Juan, man I thought I knew the score

So, I sabotaged Hitler's rubber, and led a revolution

There was mutiny in the air, I had the formula but no solution

He's just the fugitive kind

Symphonies to the Man in the Moon

Written on September 1, 2009

I was growing weary of the novelty song that were born from my desire to write about things I liked. It bordered on the ridiculous (Rocket, Rocket and Roll Chick, Oh, Pepper, and Marlon Brando). In my zeal to avoid the darkness, I'd slipped into a worse quagmire on the opposite end.

I was desperate to create something serious and poetic. "Symphonies" was about my job working security during the graveyard shift, in a part of downtown where I saw the drunks and crazies, the obnoxious teens, and the loser con men on a regular basis. Every time I did my rounds, I'd pray some idiot wasn't going to spoil my walk. 

While the music was a simple folk chord progression, and a common one, I didn't want to mirror anything too closely. I tried a faster tempo, then slowed it down, and that was an improvement. I especially like the colorful lyrics and harmonies.

Lyrics

Trying my best to keep my head down, get through another night unseen

It seems everyone's a cowboy or clown, hopped up on speedballs and nicotine

And there's the ghetto tycoon banging his wooden spoon

Playing symphonies to the man in the moon, symphonies to the man in the moon

Ah they've ruined yet another lovely stroll, because they can't keep their septic mouths shut

Lord knows the insects they've swallowed whole, all to impress themselves with the unkindest cut

And the ghetto tycoon is still banging his wooden spoon

Playing symphonies to the man in the moon, symphonies to the man in the moon

And the man in the moon, he's splitting this scene soon

Gonna leave this town at high tide, stealing away on an amusement park ride

Icarus a little singed, has his head buried in Chesterton

His fairy queen comes unhinged, and beats a hasty retreat toward oblivion

And the ghetto tycoon is still banging his wooden spoon

Playing symphonies to the man in the moon, symphonies to the man in the moon

And the man in the moon, he's splitting this scene soon

Gonna leave this town at high tide, stealing away on an amusement park ride (2x)

Trying my best to keep my head down, get through another night unseen

It seems everyone's a cowboy or clown, hopped up on speedballs and nicotine

There's the ghetto tycoon banging his wooden spoon

Playing symphonies to the man in the moon, symphonies to the man in the moon

Symphonies to the man in the moon, symphonies to the man in the moon