In September of 2010 I plowed through a stack of 20 cassettes, and of the lost or fragmented songs, the ones I enjoyed the most were all in the key of E or Em. I pumped E/Em and A on one - the other E to G, the 3rd and 4th went from an Em to the C.
On the one hand I cringe and think what an uncreative toad I am, on the other I think "But damn, I love the sound of 'em."
On the cassette, a lot of these were designated Untitled, Untitled, Untitled... on 2 of the many untitled snippets I had written... (has potential) - I'm not sure why I never got back to them (I wrote them in 2000 and 2002) - I had to write lyrics for those ("Afflicted" and "Don't Go"). With "Heaven Help Me" (in Em) I had chords written down, but no memory of what it sounded like, so I just winged it. Other than E, there are a few A's - "Shawn's Song" has disappeared, no tabs, no lyrics, no idea when it was written, and "Restless November", the lone recent song on the disc.
Cover art by ericanthonyj
Affliction (Your Master Plan)
Music 2002, Lyrics September 15, 2010
This one isn't fancy; I plug away at the same chords. It's an angry tune - it's saying, "I know you think I'm stupid, but I see the game you're playing".
Lyrics
You take my song and twist all the rhymes
I don’t believe you half of the time
You say you’ll slay all the infidels
Then throw them a kiss and wish them all well
Your master plan is underway
"I won’t deceive you", that’s what you say
Yet as you speak the words, you turn away
What affliction keeps you from looking me in the eye?
The crowd is at a fever pitch
You make your play without a hitch
You’ve convinced all the players on the board
There are sides to you left unexplored
Chorus
Watching your soldier’s march off to war
As you sit on the sidelines, keeping score
And as the bodies decompose
You manage to come off smelling like a rose
Don't Go
Words and Music December 2000, lyric updates September 2010
A short, simple folk tune about living in the past. This one used a capo on the 5th fret so I guess the E isn't an E anymore, though that's the chord I'm playing. lol - I sometimes screw up my lyrics when I sing, that was the case here (mouthed rather than speak?)
Lyrics
It was just a moment in my life – a moment I relive all the time
I guess I always suspected that here, now, is where I’ll always stay
Don’t go… go…. go
Close my eyes; I draw something from my mind
I hear the street sounds, smell that crisp air
Ah, there I see you clearly, you’re here, now, time never passed
Don’t go… go… go
I still hear you speak each precious word
I still feel the warmth in your touch
I can still remember every moment of that day
I can still see you - walk away
Don’t go… go… go
Shawn's Song
No clue when this was written, with that low voice, it sounds like I was doing an impression of Alice Cooper from "The Ballad of Jesse Jane", which was released in 2005.
Lyrics
Nothing is as advertised, as their smile serves to hypnotize
The tools in the box are paralyzed
Leaving town without a trace, I've become a basket case
Looking for a good hiding place
I'm not sure when this happened, guess I've been this way all along, though I could be wrong
Please don't go, please don't stay, I don't think it matters much, either way
(??? indecipherable) when I socialize, I give my all should the need arise
But I need time alone to shed that disguise
And if the words come out all bent, I'll build you a monument
in lieu of flowers and sappy sentiment
Chorus
I bitch and moan about this place, I'd rather be born with your face
I wonder what it's like to fly true, I wonder what it feels to be you
Lock myself away, I gotta song I need to play
I got things I want to say
Chorus
Heaven Help Me
Written in 1999
Heaven help me I've been rambling on
Tripping over salient points in the presentation
Banging my head against the wall, trying to plow through it all
Just throw up my hands in resignation
Oh, I've been proven wrong before, guess while I'm stranded on the planet
It's possible there are limits to my intellect, still I take the plunge but I'm a nervous wreck
Put a strain on my brain and I've got nowhere else to go
Nowhere else to go but in circles, circles, circles
Banging my head against the wall, trying to plow through it all
Just throw up my hands in resignation
Chorus
Heaven help me, heaven help me, heaven help me, heaven help me, yeah
You Gotta Way
Written in 1998
In revisiting this, I had lyrics and tabs, and played around with that, found a nice, breezy groove, with smooth drums, and at times I lightly touched the guitar strings, muting them, and played that way. It was a nice sound. At the end of the first verse, I go from an Em to an A and then slide two fingers down to the 12th fret... cool. Yeah Daddy-O, pretty cool cat number for a Jesus song.
Lyrics
You found a way to take me from the outside
You gotta way, of bringing me in
You gotta way, to turn my heart around
You gotta way, of bringing me in
You gotta way, to turn my heart around
You cause a yearning in my soul
Your gonna give me a new start now
You're gonna tell me all I need
I'm gonna make it, but I can't understand why
How long I fought you and pushed you away
But you kept standing, by my side
You've gotta a way of getting on the inside
You've gotta way of breaking me down
You've gotta way of showing me what I had to lose
So many hearts off on holiday, but mine was held in line
By a love so true
You caused a yearning in my heart
Restless November
Written in February 2010
I was experimenting with automatic writing as a tool to shake loose the creative cobwebs. Here's what I wrote originally...
Restless November
We sought cover from your rains
And found safety
Tangled in each others limbs
I number her freckles and blemishes
I mark the gentle swell of her breast
We breathe the same air
I fear this will all crumble into nothingness
Should I reach out to touch her
So sad and beautiful
Like a dream
I tremble and awaken
I knew her once
No more
After a spell, I returned to those lines, rewrote and smoothed out the rough spots until I had the words just right. And then I faced the daunting task of finding music to accompany those lyrics. I needed something melancholy, something that had the breath of desperation and sadness. As well as beauty and longing -- imperfection and perfection -- and the sense of the inevitable. That this couldn't last. We were coming to our end and were clinging to the last vestiges of the relationship.
I remembered that it never stopped raining that November. And there was flooding that barred access to the freeway that led from Portland to Seattle. We were isolated and it felt like it was just she and I against it all. I wanted these ideas and feelings present –even if only hinted at- not only in the words, but also in the voice and music. I wanted it infused in the tone of the guitar, in the somber vocals, in ghostly backing voices. I wanted my bass to sound as if it were drowning. It wasn't enough to have music, the music had to tell the story as much as the lyrics did.
and here's what it became
Restless November we sought cover from your rains
And hid under tangled limbs
I numbered her freckles and blemishes
I note the gentle swell of her breast
We breathe the same air, and laugh at how serious we’ve become
I brush an errant lock of her hair
And whisper something mawkish and trite
She smiles and takes her eyes from mine
So sad and beautiful
This is ash and earth; this will crumble in my hand
Restless November, won’t you hold me in this dream
This is ash and earth; this will crumble in my hand
Restless November, hidden in my fortress made of sand
Your gonna give me a new start now
You're gonna tell me all I need
I'm gonna make it, but I can't understand why
How long I fought you and pushed you away
But you kept standing, by my side
You've gotta a way of getting on the inside
You've gotta way of breaking me down
You've gotta way of showing me what I had to lose
So many hearts off on holiday, but mine was held in line
By a love so true
You caused a yearning in my heart
Restless November
Written in February 2010
I was experimenting with automatic writing as a tool to shake loose the creative cobwebs. Here's what I wrote originally...
Restless November
We sought cover from your rains
And found safety
Tangled in each others limbs
I number her freckles and blemishes
I mark the gentle swell of her breast
We breathe the same air
I fear this will all crumble into nothingness
Should I reach out to touch her
So sad and beautiful
Like a dream
I tremble and awaken
I knew her once
No more
After a spell, I returned to those lines, rewrote and smoothed out the rough spots until I had the words just right. And then I faced the daunting task of finding music to accompany those lyrics. I needed something melancholy, something that had the breath of desperation and sadness. As well as beauty and longing -- imperfection and perfection -- and the sense of the inevitable. That this couldn't last. We were coming to our end and were clinging to the last vestiges of the relationship.
I remembered that it never stopped raining that November. And there was flooding that barred access to the freeway that led from Portland to Seattle. We were isolated and it felt like it was just she and I against it all. I wanted these ideas and feelings present –even if only hinted at- not only in the words, but also in the voice and music. I wanted it infused in the tone of the guitar, in the somber vocals, in ghostly backing voices. I wanted my bass to sound as if it were drowning. It wasn't enough to have music, the music had to tell the story as much as the lyrics did.
and here's what it became
Restless November we sought cover from your rains
And hid under tangled limbs
I numbered her freckles and blemishes
I note the gentle swell of her breast
We breathe the same air, and laugh at how serious we’ve become
I brush an errant lock of her hair
And whisper something mawkish and trite
She smiles and takes her eyes from mine
So sad and beautiful
This is ash and earth; this will crumble in my hand
Restless November, won’t you hold me in this dream
This is ash and earth; this will crumble in my hand
Restless November, hidden in my fortress made of sand
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