Track 14: Scraps

I've collected this sampling of tunes from a home demo recorded in April of 2009 in album form at Reverb Nation, so the tracks will all be on one embedded block. 

The cover? I wanted it to look like an old Polaroid of a scrap of crinkled, torn paper. Add text and image and there you go, simple but effective.

Bleed
Written in August 2001

I had to rewrite the music because I've long since forgotten it. Standard chords, but I like it, it's got a smooth mid-tempo groove, cool harmonica and ear wormy bass line. I wrote the bridge on the spot during recording. Bleeding is a constant theme in my songwriting. Creating a tune is like pouring out blood, it's sometimes raw, painfully real. That's what the song is about, watch me bleed, that's what it's like when you listen to my music

Lyrics
My music aint for fame, my music aint for sale

My music aint fit for human consumption

My music is my blood, my music is my blood

Watch me bleed, watch me bleed

Do you wish that I'd just go away, but I can't go away, 'cause 

I can't go one day, where I don't bleed

See these guitar strings

Each one's a vein

And each one connects me

Nerve to brain, nerve to brain

Watch me bleed, watch me seethe

Do you wish I'd just go away, but I can't go away, 'cause 

I can't go one day, where I don't bleed

Hey baby in red, you got inside my head

you knocked this sucker dead

Bliss
Written in December 2000

This is a song about Prozac and other anti-depressants I was on. I remember playing it on stage in Nashville and introducing it like that ("I dedicate this song to Prozac") and getting a laugh. Rather redundant melody wise, but a good number with guitar/bass riff that gets its hook in you. Opens in the key of A, goes off kilter into an F#m, then regroups by sliding into Em6 and Dmaj7

Lyrics
I'm feeling a little nowhere else, I'm feeling a little out of my sorts

Yeah, yeah, yeah

I'm feeling a little insignificant, I'm feeling a little out of the world

Yeah, yeah, yeah

And it's clear that, you could make it, you could make it

You could make it out, with a little bliss  

I'm feeling a little out of my self, I'm feeling a little out of my mind

Yeah, yeah, yeah

I'm feeling a little lost in my/the fog, I'm feeling a little crisis coming on

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Now I know I'm not the same, no I'm not the same

No, it's not the same without you, and a little bliss

And I - I was broken on the fly

And I'd rather not have you see me like this darling, oh

Without a little bliss

I'm feeling a little inside out, I'm feeling a little outside the norm

Yeah, yeah, yeah

I'm not sure what I mean, but I can make it, I can make it

I can make it back, with a little... bliss


Machine
Written on September 27, 2007

Funny how the lyrics shift from 3rd person to first midway, like at first standing back as judge and jury, then revealing that the fool was the judge himself. "Into the green"? Doesn't mean anything, I just liked how it rolled off my tongue when I sang it, it was more like music than lyric... though I guess "green means go". Musically circles around Dm, B flat, F and G chords. Used distortion on backing vocals to lend it a mechanical flavor.

Lyrics
One word, one quick hello, that's all it took to make the poet sing
One word, I never knew, one small word could change everything

Watch him rejoice, watch him break

Watch him unaware of his mistake

He thinks he can walk through fire and come out clean

She wound him up tight, now he's a machine

She's wound him up tight, now he's a machine

One look, one smile, speaks with such eloquence

One call, one tear and the sleepwalker jumps to her defense

And I was alone, and I was dead

And I was reborn, and I was mislead

I found what I wanted, and I shifted into the green

Now she's wound me up, like I'm a machine

She's wound me up, now I'm a machine

Oh whoa, the path we walked unseen

It has been beautiful it's been obscene

Oh whoa, I never knew we could go so far

I never knew that I could love you

That I could fall hard for someone so young, so untrue.

And I was alone, and I was dead

And I was reborn, and I was mislead

I found what I wanted, and I shifted into the green

She's wound me up, like I'm a machine

Yeah, she wound me up tight, now I'm a machine

She wound me up, now I'm a machine

Number the Tears
Written on March 23, 2000

Written for the funeral of a friend at the widow's request. I had it finished in an hour. My brother liked the lyrics.

Lyrics
I struggle to find just the right words to tell you
But everything I say is meaningless

I struggle to find just the right time to tell you

But time was never ours I must confess

I have tried to hold on and find reasons

But they slip through my fingers like sand

I have long battled to find meaning

But meaning can't be held in your hand

What is the sum of the years, it's not what you owned but the people you loved

And if a man is loved much, then you can never hope to number the tears

When he's gone, you can never hope to number the tears

Sometimes I can still hear your laughter

Echo through my memory

And all that you are and all that you said and that you'd do

Can't be replaced, now I'm a little lost without you

Pre-chorus / chorus

Red Hammer
Written in November 2006

Kkzx's radio personality C. Foster Kane (with side-kick Jim Arnold) was hilarious - the duo was idiosyncratic, irreverent, and they pissed off some morning listeners, but I thought they were brilliant and so different from the other crude comedy idiots on the radio. Inspiration for the tune came from them, Kane was reporting on a story, a test, in which people were asked to quickly name a color, and then quickly name a tool (first thing that came to you). 92% of those surveyed responded with 'red hammer', I said 'green screwdriver', haha! Kane wondered if the other 8% were weirdos (or something to that effect), if not that, at least non-conformists, free thinkers... watch out for them.

This was recorded for the Delirium CD, but it never fit. Producer Wade agreed, he called it a Jack Black like butt cruncher.

Lyrics
I'm not part of your crew, you who chose the red hammer
I saw the clones and I knew, I'd never be a red hammer

I couldn't fit in like the rest, I'd never pass their test   

You know who you are, you're swinging your red hammer

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Call for my exorcism, brandishing the red hammer

They seek a balm for the schism, blow by blow with the hammer

I couldn't fit in like the rest, I'd never pass their test   

You know who you are, you're swinging your red hammer

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

I move to my own vibe, with a green screwdriver

I'm feeling more alive, got my green screwdriver

I couldn't fit in like the rest, I'd never pass their test   

You know who you are, you're swinging your red hammer

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Sweet Madness 1
Written on January 2, 2007

I tried to record this for Delirium, but it just wasn't working. If I had the money for a Sgt. Peppers like production, it would have worked. It was dreamy, ethereal and gentler ballad that went on too long and bogged down the rest of the CD. Though I loved the lyrics, and it would have fit thematically. (I wound up going with another song titled "Sweet Madness")

Years later I took Wade's recording and added guitars and vocals through my 16-track recorder to try and "spacey" it up. Still not exactly what I envisioned.

Lyrics
I met a girl who changed everything

Thought I'd lost my voice 'till she gave me cause to sing

I met a girl that I can comprehend

In this place I never thought I'd find such a friend

Sweet madness, it tastes like sadness when she's away (2x)

And we traveled at such velocity

It's a mystery, like it was meant to be, it was meant to be

I met a girl who is ethereal

You would think me crazy, but I've never felt more rational   

Sweet madness, it tastes like sadness when she's away (2x)


The Existentialists Song
Written in 2000

This was written to my wife who had to put up with me agonizing over the how's and whys of life.

Lyrics
Break in two, it's what I do

And your more than painfully aware of that

It's an easy play, day by day

And you were always there to show me through

And you know, where I go   
When I go, deep inside

We're here and gone, in the blink of an eye

And how many gave a damn that we came and went

But there with you, in the here and now

We'll muddle through as best we can

We count and that's all that counts (4x)


The Girl I Knew
Written on March 28, 2008

A song of sorrow - it has a strong melody, and impressive bass/guitar line, voice is expressive. That opening sound was the tail end of a scream, I kept screwing the guitar, that's why I'm playing and singing so aggressively (damn it, I yelled at myself, "Get it right!" - and I still messed up in a few spots)

Lyrics
You can't stop doing the terrible things you do
Arcane black magic possesses you
It crawled into your bed at night and stole away all your light
And the girl I loved today isn't the girl I knew

I refused to accept this unnamable crime

That stole the laughter from your lungs 

It breathed in deep, took you away from me in your sleep
And the girl I loved today isn't the girl I knew

And I fly straight into your eye, to find my little lost one before she dies

foolishly believe I can set her free, but my little lost one, runs away from me

I become your father confessor as blood pours from your hand
You paint your picture in an unholy land

My faith is shattered by your art, and here lies the remains of my heart

And the girl I loved today isn't the girl I knew

And the girl I loved today isn't the girl I knew

Until I Bleed
Written in December 2006

Jeez, maybe I should have titled this CD, "bleed", lol. Well written all the way around. It's got a folky melody, a nice lead spot and a lot of heat and heart in the words. For some reason in the recording, it really highlighted the lower strings, the higher ones are not as pronounced on the primary guitar track. There's a note scribbled on the lyric/tab sheet... "With violin" - I should make that happen.

Lyrics
To be longed for, the way that I long for you

To be ached for, the way that I ache for you

To see the fire, the heat of desire, burning in your eyes

That's all I need, but I'll be crying in vain until I bleed.

Yeah, I'll be crying in vain until I bleed.

Other men, have seen what I want to see

Other men have felt the hunger inside of you

To find that fire, the heat of desire, etched across your brow

That's all I need, but I'll be crying in vain until I bleed.

Yeah, I'll be crying in vain until I bleed.

Jealousy, it doesn't become me

I have sacrificed my pride in pursuit of you

To see the want in your eyes, 'till a part of me dies

That's all I need, but I'll be crying in vain until I bleed.

Yeah, I'll be crying in vain until I bleed.