Track 16: The Yakima Sessions

A quick demo recorded one night in a new studio in Yakima, WA, in late 2000. The owner was a guy who once toured with Rebecca St. James. I was way too keyed up, playing too fast, messing up and my voice was shot by the end (Easier Said Than Done). The songs were an odd mix, 3 tracks found their way on "Not a Viable..." though most of them wound up long forgotten and ignored.

Here's a sampling from that session. Warts and all.



Human
Written on January 23, 2000

Trying to expand my usual writing style with mixed results. Not fond of my vocals, they are too strident, and I was really heavy into the vibrato in this time period. But I like the guitar riff and the idea is solid and reflects my distaste with fads, doing the "in thing" not because you wanted to, but because you felt compelled to. Darned engineer can be heard banging away and having a conversation in the background.

Lyrics

I won't follow the leader, I'm not into the fad

I don't care what's hot, I find that scene so terribly sad

If you don't like my honesty, well that's too bad

I'm just a human being, I don't wanna play this game

Why can't be real

I'm not good looking, I don't have a killer smile

I'm not an actor I won't dazzle you with style

All I can give you is the truth, but if you'd rather serve the lie

So conscience of their opinions, well I can't understand why

I wanna be human, and if I don't clique

And if I'm without peer, why worry about it

Why shed a tear, I wanna be human

I wanna be real, I wanna feel.... human

Who cares what they're wearing, what's the point if it's not me

It's what's in your heart that's worth sharing, that's all I wanna see

So we stick out like sore thumbs, so we don't have the latest toys

You're more than hairstyle and jewelry, you're more than strategies and plots

Who are you, that's all I want you to be

You gotta be true, don't have to work to impress me

You just gotta be human, just gotta be real

Just want you to feel.... human

I don't want none of this nonsense

I don't want none of this pretense

The Dream
Written on August 20, 2000

I think I was in a Cat Steven phase, wanting to write something pretty with more complex guitar pieces beyond my usual strums, which is something I admired in my brother's songwriting. Lyrically, it goes corny with the poetic imagery. Vocals are sticky, too syrupy and that vibrato(!) -wince- and I was holding my breath when playing the guitar, so you can hear me breathing when I let the air out, Dear Lord -face palm-

Lyrics
I cupped the dream within my hands, and washed away the traces

When joy was etched, across the sky, and a smile was more in fashion

Than anger that now embraces

And in the dream, there was a girl I once knew

I married her but true, to the scenery, even that's born bitter fruit
And granite hearts have taken root

And now, in fever sweat, like rivers on my brow

I see that I can't see as well as once was clear to me

And what's really dear to me

She held a rose as red as blood, tangled within silken fingers

Head tilted slight, as tears rained down as thick as night

Delicate features melting, from my mind

Burned away, by harsh light



It Never Occurred to Me
Written in 1994

Good work on the words and music, a reflection on life. While not earth shatteringly different, but something melodically beyond my norm at the time.

Lyrics
I used to live with my first girlfriend

She used to be the constant thorn in my side

I used to have 20/20 vision

I used to sleep peacefully at night

But hey! I just can't ignore it, I was lost before it

Just never occurred to me

I used to have a set of values

I used to be so young and strong

I used to have a younger sister

She left us all before too long

But hey! I just can't restore it, I was blind before it

Just never occurred to me

Hey! Someone tell me something, someone give me something

Hey! Someone show me something, someone break it to me... gently

I used to look through a ripe and golden eye

I used to think it would all be fine

I used to think I would be an artist

Now I work in a bookstore making $7.09



The Downward Spiral
Written Jan/Feb 2000

The title's associated with Trent Reznor, but I was clueless to that, and at the time I wrote it I thought it was unique and I felt pretty clever when I came up with the word. Another where I'm trying to expand my pop rock sensibilities. I think with a full band and a better production, it would have been killer. 

Lot of flats in this one, with a few F#

Lyrics
I got lost somewhere along the way

I don't know how, I don't know why

Was hit blindsided and left for dead

I don't know how, I don't know where

I was caught unaware, didn't see it coming, now I don't care

I was fast asleep, and, too dumb struck to weep

I've swallowed to much defeat and pain

It's all gone black, am I insane

I rattle my chains but all I make is noise

And all my dreams, are hollow ploys

I was caught unaware, didn't see it coming, now I don't care

I was fast asleep, and, too dumb struck to weep

I can't get away. I can't break free

I'm trapped on a course that's killing me

Oh, run away, I can't run away

From the man I am, and even though I'm screaming

I'm locked into the downward spiral

Easier Said Than Done
Written in 1989

An older number I hauled around for years. Nothing mind blowing, just a popper using magic and tricks as the lyrical motif.

Lyrics
Nothing here broken a little alibi won't find - oh no!

No grand illusion, just a bag of tricks

No sleight of hand, nothing up my sleeve

No explanations so there's nothing to believe

Nostradamus got nothing on you

Cause the future you see has the clearest view

And you swear to God I will never change

At least nothing a swift kick can't rearrange

You can take it at face value, you can take it on the run

You can sound so tough, sincere, and true, but it's easier said than done

You say there's no dust on your crystal ball

It's easy to see the writing on the wall

But your words are muddled and the meaning opaque

I'm beginning to suspect this was all a big mistake

Chorus



You Gotta Hold On
Written on December 21, 1999

One of my less heavy-handed Jesus songs. I like the music, though my playing leaves much to be desired in spots.

Lyrics
Been a long time since I cracked a smile

Didn't mean for it to turn out this way

This heavy sadness been hovering over me for a while

A stubborn companion who follows me throughout the day

And I met your smile with a dismissive shrug

So friendly with despair I've become remote and smug

You had a light you wanted to share, but I didn't care

I've grown comfortable in the dark

But you kept me alive, and if I'm to survive

Oh Lord, if I'm to survive

You gotta hold on, gotta hold on he'd say

Paradise is coming your way

You gotta hold on, gotta hold on, he'd say

Paradise is just along the way

Please tell me why you are so sad

You can't tell me your life is all bad

You're always so serious with furrowed brow

You need to come out, and breathe